SITTING SHIVA

MARK Your old buddy Richard Hyman called to express his condolences. He's sending a platter later today. I'm sure there'll be lox. HENRY Poor kid. Whichever way he turned we made fun of him. First his first name, then as we got older, his last name. MARK We dished out all that abuse to him and he still does the right thing. He runs a hedge fund now. HENRY Worth eight figures. He'll probably send over the largest platter to show off. Really sticking it in our noses. I hate that guy. MARK Henry! HENRY I can say whatever I want this week. It's my shiva. DAVID If you need a low chair to express your feelings, suit yourself. David starts scrolling and typing on his iPhone. MARK You have to do that now? DAVID Do what? MARK Take out your phone. While we're sitting shiva, can you keep your phone in your pocket? DAVID You're kidding me. MARK People are still here. HENRY There're always people here. DAVID Services are over. HENRY There are always services here. MARK We should show more respect. DAVID Again with that word. What is with you? MARK Our father died in case you forgot. DAVID See this ripped shirt. Hard to forget. MARK It's not a normal week for God's sake. Dad died. There are rituals to be observed. Laws to be followed. DAVID I don't need a law to tell me how to honor my relationship with my father. MARK He would tell you to put away your phone. DAVID Dad! He wouldn't even know what to call it. HENRY He would say put away that thinga majig. MARK He wouldn't approve. DAVID I didn't seek his approval for everything I did. MARK We know. HENRY You weren't looking at your phone during the funeral. DAVID I did in the hearse. You think Dad noticed? MARK During the service. You put it away. I didn't see it. DAVID Yeah so? MARK Why? DAVID Out of — MARK Aha! DAVID Congratulations. MARK All I am saying is that during the funeral, during shiva, we act a little differently. HENRY More respectfully. MARK Exactly. And that is not a subjective definition. DAVID Of course it is. MARK You don't show up at a funeral in a t-shirt and jeans. That, by all standards is disrespectful. And, if you recall, everyone, even casual dress you, wore a suit. And now, three days later, respect means keeping your phone in your pocket and devoting your time to thinking about Dad. DAVID That is your fence. My relationship with my father is my business, not yours, or anyone else's. As each moment arises, I decide. So, for example, I have an important business call at three o'clock today. I plan on taking that. But I told my partners I would not be joining their weekly meeting. MARK We should conduct no business this week. DAVID Says who? MARK That's what my rabbi told me. DAVID I don't consult a rabbi when I want to do something. I do, however, need to consult one of my colleagues on an investment. And he should have sent me an email by now. He reaches for his phone. MARK You need to know this minute! DAVID As a matter of fact, yes. Why does this bother you? HENRY Everything bothers him. Henry walks offstage to throw his plate away. DAVID He's right. MARK You never liked to play by the rules. DAVID Your rules, maybe. MARK Not mine. How we were raised. DAVID Mark, not now. MARK Why is it so hard to keep your phone in your pocket! I frankly don't know how you can even concentrate on anything other than Dad right now, rule or no rule. Henry returns. HENRY Last of the guests who came for the free breakfast have left. They came, they nodded, they ate. DAVID They're gone. HENRY I may take a nap. Take advantage of the down time. [Excerpt continues through page 19...]